When Temptation Comes...

So, you find the woman you're willing to care for, cherish, maybe even die for. You say your "I do's" and POOF, all of your feelings of temptation simply go away right? Well, maybe I was naive, hopeful some may say, or just plain dumb; nevertheless, that was what I thought. Little did I know, the temptation had only just begun.

Do you notice that whenever you try to do something good, everything in the world that could make it bad all of a sudden is at your front door?  You say you're going to stop cursing, so someone makes you so upset you feel obligated to curse them out. You say you're going to stop drinking, then your cheap friend ask you out for drinks (they are paying of course).  You say you're not going to sleep around anymore, suddenly all of your old flings come out of the woodwork.  I can't say that I can explain why or even how this happens, but you know it does.

Since I have been married, I have heard things like, "If you come around me, I will rape you, I don't care if you're married" " We were together before her, why didn't he marry me?" "You don't know that girl, you won't last a year." Hearing these things can make you think back to what you could have, should have, would have done which is an entry point for temptation. Needless to say, I had to quickly choose who my "new" friends would be if I was going to make this thing called "marriage" work.

The first two years are the hardest. You're still in bachelor mode, you don't necessarily "feel" married, and all of the friends and family you know are getting a divorce (most instances because of a cheating spouse). Makes you think, "is it even possible for a man not to cheat?" "Am I fooling myself?" There was even a time where I didn't really want to wear my ring, not because I was thinking of being unfaithful, but because of the way I was treated by women. I wanted things to to be corgial and cool. What I found was that women would either treat me like they were allergic to talking or simply saying hello to a man with a ring, or I would be teated like the best pair of shoes in the store just got bought.

So, how does this make a man feel tempted? I'm glad you asked. A man can many times get more attention from a woman who barely knows him than his own wife.  I hear men everywhere speaking of how their woman will take the advice of their dad, pastor, brother or sister before they will listen to their man. (Think about how that would make you feel for a moment.)  This can make another woman seem appealing to a man, not necessarily in a sexual way, but with the combination of a lack of trust from their woman, things can go anywhere. Note to self ladies....If your man knows you don't trust them it makes them think, "Why the heck am I being faithful if she already thinks I'm cheating?" There has to be intervention.

That intervention should always come from God (that little still voice telling you to cut it off, don't be stupid, this is not good).  If you don't take head to that intervention my brother it may already be too late.  It is best not to put yourself in the position to be tempted as we do too many times. We like to stay close to the fire and say we're superman and won't get burned.  I like to use wisdom and stay in a place where there is NO fire, and NO chance to get burned. Did I learn to do this on my own you ask? Of course not, are you nuts? I mean, I am still a man. My wifee taught me that one, and no it didn't come quick or easy. She was working with 23 years of being a bachelor, what else can you expect? But it takes discipline (denying my flesh), self conciousness (realizing how I felt), and God (submitting to his word). Therefore I am able to do what so many say is impossible.

Please pray for me and all of my brothers out there who battle with this daily test called temptation, that we may continue to overcome when the tempter comes. Remember men, we can do ALL things but ONLY through CHRIST who gives us the strength to do so. Stay away from the very notion of temptation and you WILL win. You WILL have peace of mind. Most importantly, you WILL live a life that is pleasing to God.