Simplicity of Marriage

Husband and Wife Becoming ONE = Inherent Friction

Be the change you want to see in your spouse. Marriage is one of the most complicated and simple things we can experience in life. It’s complicated because all people are different, making every marriage different. It’s simple; because there is actually one place we can all go to and find the solution. I will talk about the solution soon, but what about our problems and issues?

One of the most common issues we have in marriages is TRUST, but not the trust you may be thinking of. I’m speaking about the trust in yourself, your perspective, and your opinion. Many of us have held on to what we feel is right and how we should be treated based on what we have seen from our parents, grandparents and even television, without asking, what if they all have it wrong; or what if their way doesn’t work for me. Unless our views and opinions are fundamentally sound, we are holding on to the views and concepts of failure. Pretty soon you feel frustrated, trapped, and divorce feels like the only inevitable and unavoidable choice.

Self control or lack thereof is another reason why we find many things unbearable. Whether your spouse can’t keep on their clothes, or maybe you can’t close your mouth, they both have the same underlying problem; lack of self control. Maybe you have been holding too much control; control of what your spouse can and can’t listen to, watch, or even spend. All of these things can drive your spouse Crazy, but its always the other person’s fault, or is it? While many of these things can be traced back to the MAN not taking his rightful place in the home, both men and women have their equal share of the blame.

Be encouraged, there is nothing wrong with you!! To your surprise, there is also nothing wrong with your spouse. Don’t take it personal (though this can be difficult). It is simply something wrong with the way you think. If there was something wrong with YOU, you would be in a helpless and hopeless situation that all the help in the world couldn’t bring you out of. Thank God it is just our mind, the way we think, the information we have let settle in our minds that is not based on the Wisdom of God. We change our minds everyday, which means your life and situation CAN change (when you read that, actually believe it).

Believing is the solution to your problem. You must first believe in the one true source, which is Jesus and doing things his way. Most of us say that we believe in Jesus, God, our savior, etc. and will have a ‘fit’ if anyone says different, but its more to believing than just saying it (even though that’s a good start). Hear what I am about to say and let it sink in…..

When we give up on our marriage, we give up on God.

When we give up on our spouse, we are saying God is not able.

When we hold on to unforgiveness, we are telling God we do not want him to forgive us.

When we say that there is no hope, we are telling God that he is not bigger than our situation.

For God said, “YOU can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens YOU.”

I can tell you assuredly that God IS in fact ABLE. Not only that, but he said that he can do exceedingly and abundantly beyond all you can ask or even THINK. Many of us are thinking that the only way out of our situation is divorce, when that is only the easy way out and doesn’t solve your problem. You’ve tried it your way for so long and you have received the same results. Webster’s Dictionary definition of a fool: One who acts contrary to moral and religious wisdom. Let us not ignore God’s perfect Wisdom, which is to walk in his principles.

Be the change you want to see in your spouse. We are always asking God to change the person we love so much, when we learned to love them just as they were, while they were still “acting a fool”. We hung in there when they were our boyfriend/girlfriend, but as soon as we get married, we want a divorce. We have it twisted. When we enter into marriage, we are saying “I know you have issues, but we will work them out”. That WE begins with ME. How do I get the priviledge of not changing, but my spouse MUST change. My change is not based on their change, but change begins with ME. If our change is not based on the word of God, our change is based on our ever changing opinion. We all know what happens when two strong opinions come together. Make the choice to be the change you want in your husband or wife. I hope you received some direction and were encouraged. Comments are welcome. Until we meet again…..