When Temptation Comes...

So, you find the woman you're willing to care for, cherish, maybe even die for. You say your "I do's" and POOF, all of your feelings of temptation simply go away right? Well, maybe I was naive, hopeful some may say, or just plain dumb; nevertheless, that was what I thought. Little did I know, the temptation had only just begun.

Do you notice that whenever you try to do something good, everything in the world that could make it bad all of a sudden is at your front door?  You say you're going to stop cursing, so someone makes you so upset you feel obligated to curse them out. You say you're going to stop drinking, then your cheap friend ask you out for drinks (they are paying of course).  You say you're not going to sleep around anymore, suddenly all of your old flings come out of the woodwork.  I can't say that I can explain why or even how this happens, but you know it does.

Since I have been married, I have heard things like, "If you come around me, I will rape you, I don't care if you're married" " We were together before her, why didn't he marry me?" "You don't know that girl, you won't last a year." Hearing these things can make you think back to what you could have, should have, would have done which is an entry point for temptation. Needless to say, I had to quickly choose who my "new" friends would be if I was going to make this thing called "marriage" work.

The first two years are the hardest. You're still in bachelor mode, you don't necessarily "feel" married, and all of the friends and family you know are getting a divorce (most instances because of a cheating spouse). Makes you think, "is it even possible for a man not to cheat?" "Am I fooling myself?" There was even a time where I didn't really want to wear my ring, not because I was thinking of being unfaithful, but because of the way I was treated by women. I wanted things to to be corgial and cool. What I found was that women would either treat me like they were allergic to talking or simply saying hello to a man with a ring, or I would be teated like the best pair of shoes in the store just got bought.

So, how does this make a man feel tempted? I'm glad you asked. A man can many times get more attention from a woman who barely knows him than his own wife.  I hear men everywhere speaking of how their woman will take the advice of their dad, pastor, brother or sister before they will listen to their man. (Think about how that would make you feel for a moment.)  This can make another woman seem appealing to a man, not necessarily in a sexual way, but with the combination of a lack of trust from their woman, things can go anywhere. Note to self ladies....If your man knows you don't trust them it makes them think, "Why the heck am I being faithful if she already thinks I'm cheating?" There has to be intervention.

That intervention should always come from God (that little still voice telling you to cut it off, don't be stupid, this is not good).  If you don't take head to that intervention my brother it may already be too late.  It is best not to put yourself in the position to be tempted as we do too many times. We like to stay close to the fire and say we're superman and won't get burned.  I like to use wisdom and stay in a place where there is NO fire, and NO chance to get burned. Did I learn to do this on my own you ask? Of course not, are you nuts? I mean, I am still a man. My wifee taught me that one, and no it didn't come quick or easy. She was working with 23 years of being a bachelor, what else can you expect? But it takes discipline (denying my flesh), self conciousness (realizing how I felt), and God (submitting to his word). Therefore I am able to do what so many say is impossible.

Please pray for me and all of my brothers out there who battle with this daily test called temptation, that we may continue to overcome when the tempter comes. Remember men, we can do ALL things but ONLY through CHRIST who gives us the strength to do so. Stay away from the very notion of temptation and you WILL win. You WILL have peace of mind. Most importantly, you WILL live a life that is pleasing to God.

(Purpose) Today It Ends...

This Kind of Sadness…This Kind of Pain

There has been an overflow of sadness around me. It hurts my heart to see so much pain. There are many things that make us sad; losing a loved one, being cheated on, or maybe you feel trapped at a dead end job. Those things can make you go through a variety of emotions, all leading to the inevitable sadness, pain and even depression.  While these times can be trying and may feel unbearable; I want to talk about a sadness that goes and hurts deeper than that. The pain of not knowing.

When you don’t know your purpose you are lost and unhappy with everything around you.  Nothing is good enough. So then we play the blame game for why we’re not happy. My kids are acting crazy. My husband is no good. If only I had more money. I’m not getting any help. But haven’t your kids always acted crazy? Wasn’t your husband no good when you married him? These are only the distracters of your very true and real crisis. Here is your real crisis:

You don’t know or you are not operating in YOUR PURPOSE!!

You may notice the statement that people say when they have given up……

I’ve given up on school because I don’t see the purpose.

I’m quitting my job because I don’t see the purpose of working there at minimum wage.

I’m getting a divorce because he will never change, so what’s the purpose?

I stop going to church because I don’t see the purpose.

What’s the purpose of speaking up if nobody listens?

My question is what are you waiting for? God has given you a purpose before he created you. Read Genesis, God didn’t even let the flowers grow until Adam was there to take care of them. Why? Because the flowers wouldn’t have had a purpose. In that same manner, God didn’t let you live until he gave you a purpose. Think about it; would your employer CREATE a new job before they had a purpose? So you ask, “How do I know my purpose?” I’m glad you asked. The same way you know a car’s purpose, the same way you know an ipod’s purpose, the same way you know the purpose of a song. You ask the CREATOR (Jesus Christ). Your friend or father may be able to tell you what a car is used for, but the creator can tell you how to use its gadgets (your gifts), the outcome of using those gadgets (your destiny), and the reason it was given those gadgets (your purpose).

Fulfill your purpose; or this kind of sadness that comes from not operating in your gifts can be detrimental to your attitude, actions, and even your sanity. What have you been dreaming about that won’t let you go? What is that thing that you and everyone around you say you should be doing? When I think of great people, I think of people filled with Purpose. People can lose their marriage and get fired from their job; but if they are operating in their purpose, they have a peace within themselves. Choose to have peace. I will not die until I have fulfilled my purpose. I won’t spend another day in sadness. I will not infect my friends and loved ones with sadness and pain another day of my life. This kind of sadness has left my life. This kind of pain is gone. Today it ends...

People I know operating in purpose

http://helpingotherstransform.com/  Angel Richards

http://www.doitdivinely.com/  Jennifer Hammock

http://motownmaurice.blogspot.com/  Motown Maurice

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aas2QlHzX3A&NR=1  I Have A Purpose That I MUST Fulfill He's Given Me Life And I CHOOSE TO LIVE!!

Simplicity of Marriage

Husband and Wife Becoming ONE = Inherent Friction

Be the change you want to see in your spouse. Marriage is one of the most complicated and simple things we can experience in life. It’s complicated because all people are different, making every marriage different. It’s simple; because there is actually one place we can all go to and find the solution. I will talk about the solution soon, but what about our problems and issues?

One of the most common issues we have in marriages is TRUST, but not the trust you may be thinking of. I’m speaking about the trust in yourself, your perspective, and your opinion. Many of us have held on to what we feel is right and how we should be treated based on what we have seen from our parents, grandparents and even television, without asking, what if they all have it wrong; or what if their way doesn’t work for me. Unless our views and opinions are fundamentally sound, we are holding on to the views and concepts of failure. Pretty soon you feel frustrated, trapped, and divorce feels like the only inevitable and unavoidable choice.

Self control or lack thereof is another reason why we find many things unbearable. Whether your spouse can’t keep on their clothes, or maybe you can’t close your mouth, they both have the same underlying problem; lack of self control. Maybe you have been holding too much control; control of what your spouse can and can’t listen to, watch, or even spend. All of these things can drive your spouse Crazy, but its always the other person’s fault, or is it? While many of these things can be traced back to the MAN not taking his rightful place in the home, both men and women have their equal share of the blame.

Be encouraged, there is nothing wrong with you!! To your surprise, there is also nothing wrong with your spouse. Don’t take it personal (though this can be difficult). It is simply something wrong with the way you think. If there was something wrong with YOU, you would be in a helpless and hopeless situation that all the help in the world couldn’t bring you out of. Thank God it is just our mind, the way we think, the information we have let settle in our minds that is not based on the Wisdom of God. We change our minds everyday, which means your life and situation CAN change (when you read that, actually believe it).

Believing is the solution to your problem. You must first believe in the one true source, which is Jesus and doing things his way. Most of us say that we believe in Jesus, God, our savior, etc. and will have a ‘fit’ if anyone says different, but its more to believing than just saying it (even though that’s a good start). Hear what I am about to say and let it sink in…..

When we give up on our marriage, we give up on God.

When we give up on our spouse, we are saying God is not able.

When we hold on to unforgiveness, we are telling God we do not want him to forgive us.

When we say that there is no hope, we are telling God that he is not bigger than our situation.

For God said, “YOU can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens YOU.”

I can tell you assuredly that God IS in fact ABLE. Not only that, but he said that he can do exceedingly and abundantly beyond all you can ask or even THINK. Many of us are thinking that the only way out of our situation is divorce, when that is only the easy way out and doesn’t solve your problem. You’ve tried it your way for so long and you have received the same results. Webster’s Dictionary definition of a fool: One who acts contrary to moral and religious wisdom. Let us not ignore God’s perfect Wisdom, which is to walk in his principles.

Be the change you want to see in your spouse. We are always asking God to change the person we love so much, when we learned to love them just as they were, while they were still “acting a fool”. We hung in there when they were our boyfriend/girlfriend, but as soon as we get married, we want a divorce. We have it twisted. When we enter into marriage, we are saying “I know you have issues, but we will work them out”. That WE begins with ME. How do I get the priviledge of not changing, but my spouse MUST change. My change is not based on their change, but change begins with ME. If our change is not based on the word of God, our change is based on our ever changing opinion. We all know what happens when two strong opinions come together. Make the choice to be the change you want in your husband or wife. I hope you received some direction and were encouraged. Comments are welcome. Until we meet again…..